Commandments of the (bad) webjournalist | Mandamentos do (mau) webjornalista

I am evil WebJourno !

Gabriel Silva (@GabrielfSilva), from the popular portuguese blog Blasfémias, set some commandments for the portuguese webjournos, after reading on Twitter a comment about how some still do not link outside their news website. Me and Raul Pereira (@raul_pereira) added one more, to make precisely 10. Have fun and add a few more you feel appropriate: 1. Thou shalt not link; 2. You’ll refer only to blogs of people known in the offline world; 3. In case of success in any endeavour of yours, you shall say “it is the first time that…”; 4. When you report a more than three day old news thou shall begin with “yesterday”; 5. All the news from abroad shall not have specified sources; 6. If you use multimedia, you shall try , by all means possible, that they can’t be embedded, or used directly; 7. At the peak of you audience flow, you shall place a pop-up ad stopping them from visualizing your work; 8. So that your readers can contact you, leave your webmaster’s email followed by a fax number; 9. In a more appealing or long story, publish only the 1st paragraph and add: “Keep reading in the print edition”; 10. Thou shalt use copy/paste with discretion, and byline as yours; ( Suggestion by Raul and me) These commandments apply not only here in Portugal, but throughout the world.

O Gabriel Silva (@GabrielfSilva) do Blasfémias, definiu alguns mandamentos para o webjornalista tuga, depois de ter lido no Twitter um comentário que havia quem não linkasse para fora do site do seu orgão de comunicação. Eu e o Raul Pereira (@raul_pereira) adicionámos mais um, para serem 10 certos. Divirtam-se e acrescentem os que acharem apropriados. 1. Não linkarás; 2. Só referirás blogs de pessoas conhecidas offline; 3. Em caso de sucesso de alguma iniciativa tua, farás alarde de que «é a 1ª vez que»; 4. Quando picares notícia com mais de 3 dias, dirás «ontem»; 5. Todo o noticiário sobre o estrangeiro não terá fontes; 6. Se usares meios multimédia, tentarás, por todos as vias, que não possam ser republicados/citados directamente; 7. Em horário de maior audiencia, colocarás anuncio pop-up a impedir a visualização do teu trabalho; 8. Para os teus leitores te contactarem usa email do webmaster seguido do fax; 9. Numa peça mais chamativa ou longa, publica só 1º parágrafo e acrescenta «Continue a ler na edição impressa»; 10. Usarás o copy/paste com moderação e assinarás por baixo como se fosse teu; (sugestão minha e do Raul) Estes mandamentos aplicam-se não só aos webjornalistas portugueses, mas também a muitos no estrangeiro.

Jon Stewart: O fim dos jornais | The end of newspapers

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10 sites para procrastinar | 10 sites to procrastinate

ah pois trabalhamos | oh yes we do

more animals

Todos temos aqueles dias em que não nos apetece fazer nada. Por mais trabalho que se acumule à nossa frente, achamos sempre que pode esperar mais um bocado. Bem, estas sugestões são para esses períodos de espera.

We all have those days when we are not really in the mood for work. No matter how high tasks pile in your desk, we always thing that they can wait a bit longer. Well, these suggestions are for those long moments while work awaits.

Icanhascheezburger.com

more animals

O mítico Icanhascheezburger.com tinha que começar esta lista. Para além de ser um daqueles sites intermináveis, é difícil de largar. Mas enganem-se que é só por causa da diversão. O que os lolcats transmitem é mais do que o humor, mas o reflexo de inquietações e motivações tipicamente humanas. Não acreditam? Leiam este artigo.

The mythical Icanhascheezburger.com just had to start this list. Besides looking like it’s neverending, it’s one of those that is hard to go away from. But don’t think it’s just because of the misspelled jokes. What lolcats convey is more than humor, it’s a reflection of the pathos and motivations so tipically human. Read more about this here.

FailBlog.org

see more pwn and owned pictures

Um afiliado dos lolcats, que nos mostra as incongruências e falhanços da espécie humana. Muito bom para nos apercebermos das pequenas asneiras que nos rodeiam. E das grandes também.

A lolcats’ affiliate, that shows us the absurdities and small failures of the human kind. It is very good to make us look  and realize the tiny mistakes that surround us. And the big ones too.

Darwin Awards

The Balloon Priest
2008 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

(20 April 2008, Atlantic Ocean, Brazil) In 1982 Lawn Chair Larry, beloved survivor of a Darwin-worthy attempt, attached 45 helium weather balloons to his comfortable Sears lawn chair, packed a picnic and a , and cut the tether. But instead of drifting lazily above the Los Angeles landscape, the combined lift of 45 huge helium balloons rocketed Larry into LAX air traffic lanes 16,000 feet above sea level. Astoundingly, he survived the “flight.”

In homage to Larry’s aerial adventure, a Catholic priest recently ascended towards heaven on a host of helium party balloons. Adelir Antonio de Carli, 41, was attempting to set the world record for clustered balloon flight to publicize his plan to build a spiritual rest stop for truckers.

Sitting for more than 19 hours in a lawn chair is not a trivial matter, even in the comfort of your own backyard. The priest took numerous safety precautions, including wearing a survival suit, selecting a buoyant chair, and packing a satellite phone and a GPS. However, the late Adelir Antonio made a fatal mistake.

He did not know how to use the GPS.

Para os poucos que não conhecem os Darwin Awards, devo dizer que são a distinção máxima para a estupidez humana. Infelizmente, o preço é elevado. Mas pelo menos faz-nos sentir mais espertos do que os distinguidos.

For those few who don’t know what the Darwin Awards are all about, i’ll say they are the highest recognition of excellence in human stupidity. Often with a high price. But it makes us feel smarter than  those poor souls.

PostSecret.blogspot.com

Este é mais sério. O PostSecret é fascinante porque se trata de uma colecção de postais com os segredos incofessáveis de pessoas como nós. As tristezas, as alegrias, os medos, toda a panóplia de emoções que fazem parte da nossa humanidade. Há divertidos, e há assustadores, mas há sempre um em qual nos revemos. Quer dizer, eu não, não é Homer?

This one is more serious. PostSecret is fascinating because it’s just a collection of postcards with the unconfessable secrets of people like us. The misery, the happiness, the darkest fears, a whole range of  emotions that are part of being human. There some quite amusing, other scary, but there are others that are all about us.Well, not me, right Homer?

Penance

Penance.com

Mais um site confessional, deste vez sob o tema dos Sete Pecados Mortais. Estes são negros e nem sempre procuram redenção. Um dos meus favoritos.

Another confessional website, this time under the Seven Deadly Sins theme. These are dark and not always they seem to look for redemption.A favorite.

ChuckNorrisFacts.com

When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.

When there’s a fire, you stop, drop, and roll. When there’s a Chuck Norris, you stop, drop, and die.

We don’t know if Chuck Norris enjoys a good fight. He’s never had one.

Chuck Norris bites the hand that feeds him�and eats their entrails.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. A Chuck Norris a day kills.

Outro grande clássico da procrastinação é o ChuckNorrisFacts.com, que tem tudo o que tínhamos medo de saber sobre o Chuck Norris, que por acaso nunca procrastina, apenas espanca o tempo um soco de cada vez até ele parar. Depois de se inteirarem da superioridade superior do Chuck, podem passar o resto do dia a fazer t-shirts com as melhores máximas.

Another great procrastinating classic is ChuckNorrisFacts.com, that has all the things you were afraid to know about Chuck Norris, who, as a matter of fact, never procrastinates, he just beats up time one punch at a time until it stops. After being aware of Chuck’s superior superiority, you can spend the rest of the day designing t-shirts with the best aphorisms.

QDB

#258908 +(12708)– [X]

<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they’d be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I’m the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

Este é para geeks e apreciadores dos foras que se dão em IRCs e afins. Tem muito por onde explorar, e faz-nos lembrar que quando se está online, nunca sabemos realmente o que se passa do outro lado. Vejam o top 100. Dica de @carlosalonso

This one is for geeks and appraisers of those mishaps in IRC and similar. It has a lot of situations to contemplate, and remembers us that when we are online, we never really know what’s going on the other side. Visit the top 100. Tip by @carlosalonso

StumbleUpon

Tecnincamente, isto não é um website. Mas o que o SU faz é seleccionar ao acaso websites referenciados por outros utilizadores que se enquadram dentro do nosso perfil, e funciona clicando num botão do nosso browser (que é preciso instalar, claro). As horas que eu perdi a surfar…ehem, em pesquisa…

Technically, this is not a website. But what  SU does is to select randomly websites previously bookmarked by other users and that are according to our profile, and it works just with a click of a button in our browser (that needs to be installed first, of course). The hours i spent surfing…ehem, researching…

Online Games

Há para todos os gostos e feitios: desde plataformas a simuladores, a desporto e raciocínio, todos gratuitos e sem ser preciso instalar nada. Hoje o @ppinheiro76 sugeriu este. Fixe!!!

There is one for every taste and personality: from platforms to simulators, from sports to intelligence, all for free and without the need for installation. Today @ppinheiro76 suggested this one. Cool!!!

Overheard in New York

Domo Arigato, Mr. Hoboto

Bum doing the robot: Zzzzzzz robot, zzzzzzz whirrr whirr, doing the robot.
Cop passing by, over car loudspeaker: That is the worst robot I’ve ever seen.
(crowd cheers)

–Times Square

Overheard by: omegatron

Nova Iorque é uma cidade familiar para quem quer que tenha uma televisão. E apesar de todos nós termos ouvido falar do feitio nova-iorquino, é sempre divertido vê-lo registado por quem o observou em primeira mão, através das conversas de passagem. É realmente um mundo à parte. Aviso já que este site é altamente viciante, exigente, e um desperdício completo de tempo. Podem variar com as outras versões como o Overheard at the Office.

New York is a somewhat familiar city for anyone who has ever watched TV. And despite all of us have heard about the new yorkers’ personality, it is always fun to tap into it through those who watch it closely, listening to by the way conversations. It is a world apart indeed. I must warn you that this is s highly addictiev and demanding website, and a total time waster. You can change to the other versions like Overheard at the Office.

Os Outros | The Others

A lista é interminável, e se souberem de mais alguns, por favor, não os partilhem. Eu estava para escrever este post ontem e deixei-o para hoje, porque não estava mesmo para aí virado, e pelo meio ainda atrapalhei a vida a outras pessoas. Por isso ficam aqui as minhas desculpas por qualquer quebra na produtividade que este post possa causar. Mas se quiserem mais vejam também esta lista sugerida pela @paudecanela_nz: Wondrous Websites with Which to Waste Time at Work Divirtam-se. Quer dizer, trabalhem.

The list is neverending, and if you know other time wasting websites, please do keep them to yourselves. I was to write this post yesterday and i only wrote it today, i really wasn’t in the mood,and still i got to mess the day of some people up. So i must apologize in advance for any drop in productivity that this post migh cause. But if you still want more procrastination, take a look at this list suggested by @paudecanela_nz: Wondrous Websites with Which to Waste Time at Work Have fun. I mean, go to work.

Um pouco hiperlocal demais…não? | A bit too hyperlocal…no?

Dois gatos morrem num incêndio | Two cats die in fire

Eu gosto de gatos, mas uma notícia destas não será um exagero? Que factor de noticiabilidade é que pesou para se fazer este título? Será que estão a trabalhar para a comunidade felina local?

I’m a cat person, but isn’t a story like this a little bit too much? What newsworthy factors were involved to write this title? Are they looking for viewers among the feline community?

Os 10 mandamentos do Facebook | Facebook’s 10 commandments

5. Thou Shalt Not Join A Billion Groups

While it may very well be true that Dave Coulier shaves his balls, what more is there to say about it?

O Facebook pode ser uma rede social fantástica mas pode ser também demasiado irritante, com todas as aplicações e brincadeiras que traz. Ross Wolinsky, do site Cracked.com fez uma lista bem humorada das 10 regras  fundamentais para a boa convivência no Facebook, mas que deve ser levada a sério. Acho eu.

Facebook can be a fantastic social network but it also can be  quite irritating, because of all the apps and possibilities it has. Ross Wolinsky, from Cracked.com wrote down a humurous list of the 10 fundamental rules for good sociability in Facebook, but that should be taken seriously. I guess.

The rise of social media has made it easier than ever to keep in touch with friends, relatives and coworkers. With a few keystrokes you can reconnect with an old high school buddy, learn what your coworker’s favorite band is, or play Scrabble with a friend who lives on the other side of the globe.

But while increased connectivity is an undeniably good thing, you can just as easily use it to annoy the living hell out of everyone you know. This is the internet, after all, and if something on the internet can be used in an annoying way, you can safely assume that 99% of the population will proceed to do so (go try reading a comment on YouTube if you don’t believe me).

People need rules to tell them how to act. Luckily I went to the top of Mount Internet last night, and God handed me down these 10 Commandments of Facebook for all to obey. Follow them or you’ll go to hell.

The 10 Commandments of Facebook

Hiper-hiperlocal | Hyper-hyperlocal

Talvez isto seja um pouco demais… | Maybe this is all a bit too much…

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Desistir | Giving up

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Muito, muito divertido | Very, very funny